infinite regress

i am speaking of existential threats
   he said
the guy in the pod
i was ruminating on a bad childhood event
  while he said
  i’m not speaking of interpersonal existentialism...
  & this event had a father saying
i won’t tell you again
  & i said
  i know
  i won’t
  sorry i’m sorry

              i won’t
   & you said
 hey you should get up now
   & grabbed my loose hand
    with two hands & leaned back,
      a lever,
   you were laughing
    because you were so worried
   & i was saying alright alright
     but i’m ruminating here
  can’t a man ruminate?
   & the podcast man said
i want you to ponder the great silence
   & you let my hand go
     & were on the floor crying
   i moved to the floor beside you
     & that was a long time that we were there like that.

2019